An Update Of Where We Are and Where We’re Going

(Remember how, in the days of standard episodic television before streaming and binging, many dramas and some comedies would give a thumbnail update starting with “Previously on…”, flashing scenes so fast that people starting midway through a season or story were more confused than before? Well, that’s what this newsletter is like. Look at these as regular updates of how the sausage is made, with what, and whether or not the staff washed their hands after they used the toilet. Or, worse, if they only washed their hands before using the toilet.)

If you’re like me, your email box is currently full of 2024 retrospectives, ridiculous predictions of 2025, or ads hoping to snag a few post-Christmas sales to get through a long and probably cold winter. After the cane toad of a year that was 2024, I can’t blame anyone starting bonfires and preparing explosives to fend off evil influences, although I’m very glad I’m no longer in my old neighborhood. (New Year’s Day 2022 started with my being awakened to a neighbor deciding to celebrate the calendar switch by testing velocity versus gravity with an AR-15 in his back yard, one round of which came down atop my bedroom.) I refuse to be nostalgic for 25 years ago, and I refuse to prattle about doing things differently over the rest of the decade. Instead, let’s look around where we are right now.

Firstly, while I have a very healthy skepticism about omens and sigils, I take heart that a lot of activities started while 2024 dropped bowling balls on my crotch paid off, including the photo above. Back when I started my old carnivorous plant gallery in 2015, I received a Nepenthes petiolata cutting from a friend, with plans for years to put it into a custom enclosure. A year after shutting down the gallery, it finally got a much-needed trimming and pruning before being put into a new enclosure on my fireplace, and it recently responded to shortened days and deep darkness in my living room with a bloom spike, something it never did at the gallery. This silly little plant and the few other plants carnivorous and otherwise I kept after the gallery closing have the energy we need, with hopes that we’ll leave winter with my Tahitian vanilla orchid blooming for the first time.

Anyway, writing-wise, it’s been quite the year so far, coming from a nearly dead start in May. Even though it’s a Substack cliche, thank you all for subscribing, reading, and sharing: I have more people opening and reading each St. Remedius installment than ever read previous newsletters, so it must be touching a chord. I particularly have to shout out to those who keep sharing installments, particularly my girlfriend Sarah, for having faith that this little project would keep going for more than a couple of installments. I can’t really blame anyone for being worried, though, considering the life expectancy of most new newsletters these days, but I have the advantage of having survived the great zine explosion of the 1990s, so I understand patience. If I could survive a lack of reader response at Science Fiction Eye and Film Threat Video Guide, I can survive it here.

As to what for the future? Expect a lot of further exploits involving St. Remedius Medical College, because the inspirations keep coming. If you thought exoparasitic pikas was bad, wait for the next installment coming out right after the new year. And as an addition to the much-appreciated paid subscriptions, it’s time to go with blatant merchandising to keep the lights on, so expect to see Space Battleship Edmund Fitzgerald T-shirts and Siouxzi’s Books bags at only the best goth clubs. This is in addition to a lot more surprises as the Annals unroll themselves, so keep those credit cards handy.

Until then, thank you for your patience and your dedication. Expect the story of the real reason for the immolation of the Avalon Theater, more backstories on senior staff and related figures, and obligatory Parker photos in the coming days, and if you’re going out tonight, don’t forget your 300-pound Sontaran attorney. Catch you later.

Cooking References

The only thing more surprising than after decades of corporate malfeasance and abuse, the revival and rejuvenation of the Barnes & Noble chain comes with a series of concept stores that actively encourage employees to select books on display. Not only is it thrilling to walk in and see books from friends on proud display (one of the managers at the new concept store here in Dallas is a completely unrepentant Jeff VanderMeer fan, so we hit it off like gangbusters), but this mindset applies to traditionally neglected sections such as Science and Cooking. This is a roundabout way to say that (a) hie thee hence to the Richardson Barnes & Noble to ransack the Cooking section, and (b) get your hands on a copy of The Wok: Recipes and Techniques by F. Kenji Lopez-Alt if you have any interest at all in improving your wok skills. January is a time in Dallas to stay inside and cook, and I’m thinking very long and hard about hosting dinner parties where we all hit the local bookstore before coming back and going through our hauls.

Other Reading

Current reading that may or may not be tied to previous and upcoming St. Remedius installments, but may be of interest anyway:

Nonfiction: Lost Worlds of the Guiana Highlands by Stewart McPherson (Redfern Natural History Productions, 2008)

Nonfiction: Smartphone Cinema: Making Great Films With Your Mobile Phone by Bart Weiss (Routledge, 2024)

Fiction (Graphic Novel): Dinosaur Sanctuary by Itaru Kinoshita (Seven Seas Entertainment, 2021)

Fiction: Darker Than You Think by Jack Williamson (Fantasy Press, 1948)

Musical Accompaniment: Ego Likeness.

Events

It may be too late for folks outside of the Dallas area, but you still have an opportunity to crash the Second Annual British AF New Year’s Eve toast at Beyond the Bar in Richardson. The toast is at midnight in London, 6:00 pm in Dallas and 9:42 here at the Toad Ranch, with main festivities starting at 5:00. An additional bit of fun, though, comes from the remnants of the Texas Triffid Ranch: going through a surfeit of decorative pots left over from the Triffid Ranch and needing to thin out aloe pots and trim back vining philodendrons in my kitchen window leads to opportunity. Last year, I brought a specialty lemon-orange cake for the first annual toast, and this year, I’m bringing plants. Come by and pick up either an aloe or a philodendron to go with your alcohol-free toast, and maybe next year the surprises will be dragonfruit cactus and hot peppers.

Final Words

As of next year, we’ll be one-quarter of the way through the 21st Century. I’ve been saying this since December 1999, but it’s evergreen: let’s start acting like it.

Want to get caught up on the St. Remedius story so far? Check out the main archive. Want more hints as to the history of St. Remedius Medical College? Check out Backstories and Fragments. Want to forget all of that and look at cat pictures from a beast who dreams of his own OnlyFans for his birthday? Check out Mandatory Parker. Questions, concerns, and disgust over generative AI? Check out Contact, Privacy Policy, and AI Policy. And feel free to visit the St. Remedius Medical College Redbubble shop for all of your Mandatory Parker needs.

2024 Personal interlude