The Annals of St. Remedius Medical College

And so it begins.

Baking Through the Apocalypse: “Manifesting Collage Season”

St. Remedius’s Great Cooking Tradition As A Method of Expediting Autumn (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) All through Texas, its institutes of higher learning have their individual ways of welcoming new students and reestablishing connections between returning ones. Southern Methodist University has the annual Running of the Coke Dealers. Baylor College has Rohypnol Roulette. The University of Texas at Austin features its “Don’t Trip on…

The End of August and the Stress of Texas Summer (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) In most places in the Northern Hemisphere, the end of August marks the beginning of the end of summer. Temperatures fall, the jackets and warmer blankets come out, and thoughts turn to soups, baked goods, and casseroles. The air abounds with cinnamon and dying leaf, and no wincing when touching…

Introducing Dr. Dominique Russo, St. Remedius’s Most Famous Botanist (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) Believe you me, she heard it all. The comments about “which offramp did you grow up on?” The queries about favorite brands of pork roll and the best places to go crabbing. The wiseacres asking about her overly loquacious brother and his mute hetero life partner. (They were even more confused…

Tales of the Dallas/Fort Worth Wars, and the Void That Is Arlington (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) Look upon the cities of Dallas and Fort Worth. Close enough to travel by car, horse, and even bicycle in a day, but permanently separated by both ideology and blackest sorcery. Two near-sentient metropolises with the psychic bonds of fraternal cojoined twins, both desperately fighting for individuality and…

Where We All Continue To Get Used To The Beast That Is Winston Please have pity for Parker these days. The Lint-Covered Breast Implant is having issues as of late. To begin, he’s the “10-Kilo Lint-Covered Breast Implant” no longer. In the six months since his life was torn asunder and the supremacy in his household challenged, Parker lost approximately three kilos, and as of this week, he’s at a…

So What’s Going On Behind the Curtain? (Remember how, in the days of standard episodic television before streaming and binging, many dramas and some comedies would give a thumbnail update starting with “Previously on…”, flashing scenes so fast that people starting midway through a season or story were more confused than before? Well, that’s what this newsletter is like. Look at these as regular updates of how the sausage is…

Monday Isn’t The Worst Day of the Week (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) In most places in the world, the day of the week most dreaded in the Gregorian calendar is Monday. Monday means a return to stasis after a weekend of wild. Nobody sings songs about their joy of getting up on a Monday morning, not the way they sing about the impending weekend….

Ruminations on the Hero Lanterns and Their Origins (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) Some of the universe’s greatest treasures were meant to be discovered, and of those, the greatest were the artifacts known as Hero Lanterns. Their original purpose and makers remain unknown, even to the greatest scryers and prognosticators of the Anthropocene, and debate continues up and down the timestream as to the intention…

Introducing Carrie Neil, The Musical Omnimath (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) In the glory days of St. Remedius Radio, one of the most-desired guest performers on the Saturday night show “Repent, Harlequin” was the local musician Carrie Neil. Even by Dallas musical standards, Carrie was a marvel, as she was not just a musical polymath, but an omnimath. Vocals, guitar, saxophone, piano, theremin, tuba, chopsticks,…

Dallas Boasts Many Outstanding Restaurants. The Warnell Harkun Diner Was Not One Of Them. (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) Aspect #1: Sometimes because of, and sometimes in spite of, the influence of St. Remedius Medical College, the greater Dallas, Texas area built a reputation in the 1990s for innovative cuisine and kept it going through the 21st Century Gregorian. The home of the frozen margarita…

Come Summer, The Unique Dallas Explosion (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) (Originally published in Funny Maundering magazine: July 20xx. All rights reserved.) Nature is full of examples of animals and plants that spend years building up energy, emerging to spread, and then dying off. Cicadas, certain species of bamboo, walking crepe myrtles. There are also the examples of organisms that drastically change their physiology based…

A Special Canada Day Installment, For My People’s Very Own Time Lord (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) (For various reasons that will make sense very soon, it’s time to import an installment from the former Texas Triffid Ranch site. Originally published May 16, 2011, the parallels are even more pertinent 15 years later. Oh, and happy Canada Day. See you at the Maple Leaf Diner.)…

Everyone Talks About Wanting Exotic Pets, Nobody Talks About Entitled Keepers (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) (From the St. Remedius Archives, June 31, 20XX. All rights reserved.) This is KREG, 88.7 FM, Dallas/Fort Worth/Denton, and this is Call Sign. I’m your host, Kayla Anno. This morning, we look at a new exhibition on the career of Professor Josiah Carberry of Brown University, how changes to…

When the Sigils And Guardians Remember, Even When The Corporate World Doesn’t (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) Most of St. Remedius Medical College’s thaumaturgy and applied mysticism majors, after passing their Zwinge Foundation certifications, famously went on to long careers in corporate magic, and most stayed close to St. Remedius for their entire careers. It wasn’t because of college nostalgia or a desperate fear of…

When the Kitties Don’t Sleep, Nobody Sleeps Oh, life is cruel for the 10-Kilo Lint-Covered Breast Implant. Among other things, he’s now down to about 8 kilograms, mostly due to his extensive exercise regime. While other cats get to lounge around, taking in the sights outside and occasionally chittering at a squirrel, poor Parker gets a workout. Mostly it’s a workout of his growling gland, because that part of him…

One Reason Why St. Remedius Students Kept Coming Back (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) The first week of the summer semester at St. Remedius Medical College always hit differently for the students who returned home for the summer versus those who stayed on campus or worked intern slots with Dallas industries. Without fail, those who spent the summer away from campus gradually looked at the…

Dallas’s Greatest Horror Convention Gets An Unexpected Visitor (Remember how, in the days of standard episodic television before streaming and binging, many dramas and some comedies would give a thumbnail update starting with “Previously on…”, flashing scenes so fast that people starting midway through a season or story were more confused than before? Well, that’s what this newsletter is like. Look at these as regular updates of how the sausage…

How Diplomacy Between Humanity and Cretaceous Saurians Involved Exactly The Right Challenge (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) A major point to be considered in any discussion of the Harkun and their presence in the greater Dallas, Texas area is that no other nonhuman demographic has the same relationship with the majority modern-human population. The residents of the Denisovian Embassy, aside from football games, tend to…

Celebrating What Would Have Been The End of The St. Remedius School Year (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) At any other time, the end of May would have marked the end of the school year at St. Remedius Medical College. Graduation ceremonies, dorm cleanouts, promises to stay in touch, and offers to hang out over the summer. This being St. Remedius, many of the students…

The Day The Universe Changed and The Beginnings of the Quantum War (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) On one thing, the world’s outstanding authorities agree: Something Happened. When it happened, nobody is sure. How it happened, nobody is sure. That event was what started the continuum-spanning conflagration known as the Quantum War, or maybe it was what started it. Some attribute it to a weasel…

How St. Remedius Students Recovered From Finals (Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?) Many institutes of higher learning have traditions at the end of the school year, particularly around finals. Whether Caltech’s Ditch Day or Southern Methodist University’s Running of the Coke Dealers, most involve releasing stress just before or just before the main rush of final exams. St. Remedius Medical College took the theme to…

More Free Weirdness By Mail From St. Remedius (Remember how, in the days of standard episodic television before streaming and binging, many dramas and some comedies would give a thumbnail update starting with “Previously on…”, flashing scenes so fast that people starting midway through a season or story were more confused than before? Well, that’s what this newsletter is like. Look at these as regular updates of how the sausage…

And so it begins.

The Annals of St. Remedius Medical College Of the many mysteries behind the famous/notorious educational institution known as the St. Remedius Medical College, the most enduring involves its recent destruction on an otherwise nondescript day in May. The annihilation of the entire campus was notable in that absolutely nobody was killed or even injured, and the only remaining trace of the college was a massive excavation just north of downtown…

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The Important Stuff

If it wasn’t completely obvious, the Annals of St. Remedius Medical College is a work of fiction. All characters and situations, with the exception of certain satires and pastiches of individuals for comedic intent, are fictitious, as are most of the listed locations and venues. All material herein is copyright 2024-2026 Paul Riddell, and may not be reproduced, with the exception of small excerpts for reviews or for highlighting on social media, without written permission. Thankfully, permission is easy to obtain. Updates are made on a regular basis to stremedius.com. Absolutely no generative AI of any form was used in the writing, illustration, or site layout of The Annals of St. Remedius Medical College, and this is undebatable, unamendable, and requires no vote.

Biography

Rocketed from the dying planet Skaro as an infant, the individual known as “Paul Riddell” is a quantum probability that occasionally takes inspiration from Bell’s Theorem to manifest as a writer of fiction and nonfiction. The writer aspect manifested between 1989 and 2002, where, aside from a few relapses terminally regretted by everyone involved, the writer aspect was strangled in its bed and buried. Facets of that aspect are consolidated in the books Squashed Armadillocon (1993), Greasing the Pan: The “Best” of Paul T. Riddell (2009), and The Savage Pen of Onan: The “Best” of the Hell’s Half-Acre Herald (also 2009), available from fine thrift stores and composting bins everywhere. In 2002, the aspect changed upon contact with the indigenous carnivorous plants of Tallahassee, Florida (blame Jeff VanderMeer for this), ultimately leading to the creation and opening of the Texas Triffid Ranch, popularly described as “Dallas’s Pretty Much Only Carnivorous Plant Gallery,” which ran from 2008 to 2023. A massive increase in rent caused the Triffid Ranch to shut down in early 2023, with The Annals of St. Remedius Medical College starting on Substack in May 2024 before moving to the current location in 2025. Paul Riddell is currently not married, has no children other than a 10-kilo lint-covered breast implant that impersonates a cat, and currently deliberates on the individual so deserving of a severe karmic curb-stomping that s/he becomes executor of his literary estate.

Want to get caught up on the St. Remedius story so far? Check out the main archive. Want more hints as to the history of St. Remedius Medical College? Check out Backstories and Fragments. Want to forget all of that and look at cat pictures from a beast who dreams of his own OnlyFans for his birthday? Check out Mandatory Parker. Questions, concerns, and disgust over generative AI? Check out Contact, Privacy Policy, and AI Policy. And feel free to visit the St. Remedius Medical College Redbubble shop for all of your Mandatory Parker needs.

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