An Ode To American Science & Surplus
(Remember how, in the days of standard episodic television before streaming and binging, many dramas and some comedies would give a thumbnail update starting with “Previously on…”, flashing scenes so fast that people starting midway through a season or story were more confused than before? Well, that’s what this newsletter is like. Look at these as regular updates of how the sausage is made, with what, and whether or not the staff washed their hands after they used the toilet. Or, worse, if they only washed their hands before using the toilet.)
SIGNAL BEGINS
It’s the final vigil for American Science & Surplus. As of midnight Central Time on September 14, one of the greatest accumulations of science tools, toys, misfit items, and general strangeness closes its online store forever. Two of its physical stores will continue as employee-owned venues carrying the AS&S name, but the tremendous online store and its matching print catalogue, full of funny drawings of available products and funnier descriptions, shuts down on Sunday night. After 88 years, it all comes to a halt, and it’s going to leave a hole.
I first came across the AS&S catalog at the end of 2002, at exactly the right time to make the most difference. I had recently quit a long writing career and was at loose ends, not quite sure what to do with my sudden surplus of free time and wanting to expand upon creative impulses. The AS&S catalog, a newsprint publication sent to anybody who asked and, as used to be the tradition, continually sent for as long as one kept making regular purchases, was a catalyst for those impulses. It carried electronics. It carried garden supplies. It carried art tools. It carried other tools, like watch repair kits, lineman’s pliers, pipe cutters, and wraparound clamps. It carried a lot of odd items that could be used for all sorts of other purposes, such as misprinted pens, carving tools that were on deep discount because the closing latch on the front was installed in the wrong direction, horribly underpowered battery-operated can openers that were a mother lode of plastic gears, and reams and reams of raw components such as speaker wire by the spool, retro momentary switches, and solar cells. The crew at AS&S was always delightfully surprised by what their customers did with their offered treasures, and often shared tips with catalog and (later) online newsletter subscribers, which led to further inventiveness.
Looking across my office at the moment, almost everywhere the eye falls comes across AS&S treasures from 22 years of purchasing. Diffraction glasses (in the photo above), bulk sticker packs, electrical plug USB adaptors, drinking glass coasters, lighted business card holders, and retractable feather dusters. The rest of the house is the same way: plastic cutting boards and Erlenmeyer flask coffee cups and ceramic knives in the kitchen, removable hangers and storage tubs in the bathroom, and a truly ridiculous number of sculpting and measuring tools in the workroom. My girlfriend Sarah used to laugh at how often I referred to AS&S for weird little things one didn’t know one needed, until I snagged a heatable weighted shoulder pad and detachable clips to keep her phone charger cord out of the way. Back in the Texas Triffid Ranch days, AS&S literally made the Triffid Ranch distinctive, especially when they offered sales on empty Lava Lamp bottles on sale because the boxes had been water-damaged in transit: the absolute last bottle went out, six years after that first purchase, on the very last day the Triffid Ranch was open for business. Laser bicycle lights and garden twine and battery-powered Tesla globes and travel silverware packs and skull bottle openers and resin horned toad sculptures…the house would be strangely empty were it not for AS&S largesse over the last quarter-century.
Sadly, it’s all coming to an end on Sunday. AS&S was already having problems with online distractions and with multiple venues trying to get into the business of salvage and surplus. They had warehouse issues that led to a frantic search for a new affordable warehouse at the beginning of 2025. AS&S only sold within the United States for multiple reasons, but that prevented international sales for interested techies and artists outside the US. Obviously, the current postal rate hikes and tariffs were a big factor. None of that diminishes what they accomplished, all the way to the end, with multitudes all singing the same song with the catalog: “Ooh, check THIS out!”
So if you can, give American Science & Surplus the sendoff they deserve, with a stripped warehouse and lots and lots of good memories. With luck, the employee-owned stores in Chicago and Milwaukee will weather the current economic horror and bring back their online sales, and we’ll be waiting for them. If not, well, at least we’re all going to have great memories every time we look around. Hail and farewell, you lot, because we’re really going to miss you.
SIGNAL ENDS
St. Remedius News
The ongoing migration from Substack continues, with more features being added all the time. In particular, check out St. Remedius Radio every Friday: it’s a continuation of the old “Have a Great Weekend” feature at the old Triffid Ranch site (which I stole blatantly and openly from the one and only Jack Bogdanski), combining music with more St. Remedius stories. Expect a lot more in the next few weeks, now that the Texas heat is breaking and it’s not as much of an ordeal to write.
Also, for those who want to chip in on St. Remedius expenses but don’t or can’t necessarily afford a newsletter subscription, let it be known that the St. Remedius Redbubble store has all sorts of new items, including new Mandatory Parker band gear and the new Proverbs 26:11 shirts and stickers. This, of course, is just the beginning, because Space Battleship Edmund Fitzgerald stuff is on the way, too.
Cooking References
The whole Cooking References section started thanks to the constant inspiration of my friends Jen and Martin Meier, who have a truly stunning culinary library and who constantly keep me looking for new recipes for the day that the kitchen renovation is done, Sarah and I have a working kitchen again, and we can cook for guests because we’ll have spaces not filled with appliances, dining room chairs, and big tubs full of canned goods. (We’re coming up on three months of this, and we’re still waiting on a replacement subfloor and tile. This, obviously, prevented me from making a Malcolm Tucker birthday cake this year.) And yes, we have Plans, especially if the long nightmare ends in time for American Thanksgiving.
With that in mind, most fannish-themed cookbooks are a disappointment, but The Official Godzilla Cookbook by Kayce Baker was a delightful surprise. It was already a wonderful surprise being a birthday present from Sarah (when we first started dating, she didn’t believe me when I told her the cat specifically demands to watch Godzilla films on Friday and Saturday nights and The Walking Dead before he goes outside every evening, and I mean DEMANDS), but it manages to combine “Official” with some honestly great recipes. Of particular note is the Drinks section: those of you who know me know I can’t drink, but I love to make drinks for others, and so many of these, particularly the Gigan’s Eye (hibiscus flowers, agave syrup, seltzer, rum, and ice) and the Space Titanium Sling (just buy the damn book) are just beautiful to look at. Expect possible plans for a post-Thanksgiving movie-watching party, both online and in person, involving some of these treats.
Other Reading
In the next few weeks, expect a St. Remedius installment involving this version of Dallas’s Exposition Park, but in the meantime, go hunt down a copy of It All Dies Anyway: LA, Jabberjaw, and the End of An Era by Bryan Ray Turcotte (Rizzoli, 2015) on the famed 1980s/1990s coffehouse/live music venue Jabberjaw and its influence on popular music ever since. Dallas’s Bar of Soap (the area’s first laundromat/bar, hence the name) needs a similar in-depth perusal, and It All Dies Anyway is just full of the same energy. It’s not the same as being there, and without time travel technology you lot won’t ever experience it anyway, but maybe it’ll act as a template for new wonders. (When I was finished, I honestly started looking vaguely at venues that, if unlimited funds became available, could become a location for a real-life Glass Glyptodont, and if the money actually came through, would be a perfect spot for a real-life science bar. Stay tuned.)
Events
For the four people who got this far, things will be a little quiet this month on the St. Remedius events front, which is why all of the events are available on the site’s Campus and Off-Campus Activities section from now on. Expect some new possibilities in the next few days, though, because Dallas and Fort Worth start to open up once the heat breaks, so October is going to be interesting.
That said, it’s been three years since I last made a road trip, and it would be nice to visit friends in Austin without worrying about a truck full of carnivorous plants. The first weekend in December is the weekend for the famed horror-related bazaar Blood Over Texas Horror For The Holidays at the Palmer Event Center, and this year’s HFTH turns into probably the best venue to fight the inevitable withdrawal symptoms between Halloween and Texas Frightmare Weekend. The road trip is still very tentative, but it would be nice to wander around Horror For The Holidays purely as an attendee (as a vendor, I was always swamped from opening to closing),and it would be even nicer to see old friends. Heck, considering the costumes at each show, it may be time to take Kylo Boomhauer on the road, too.
Final Words
It’s getting rough out there, but at least we have each other. Take care of yourselves, and expect more surprises soon.
Want to get caught up on the St. Remedius story so far? Check out the main archive. Want more hints as to the history of St. Remedius Medical College? Check out Backstories and Fragments. Want to forget all of that and look at cat pictures from a beast who dreams of his own OnlyFans for his birthday? Check out Mandatory Parker. And feel free to visit the St. Remedius Medical College Redbubble shop for all of your Mandatory Parker needs.
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