Promotional Projects, Done Fun
(Remember how, in the days of standard episodic television before streaming and binging, many dramas and some comedies would give a thumbnail update starting with “Previously on…”, flashing scenes so fast that people starting midway through a season or story were more confused than before? Well, that’s what this newsletter is like. Look at these as regular updates of how the sausage is made, with what, and whether or not the staff washed their hands after they used the toilet. Or, worse, if they only washed their hands before using the toilet.)
SIGNAL BEGINS
Previous subscribers and readers might remember, way back earlier in 2025, when a windfall of abandoned real estate guide bins from the Aughts led to an idle summer project of converting them into St. Remedius flyer bins. Well, that started just before an emergency kitchen renovation blocked off access to kitchen and garage for over three months. Now that the kitchen is back in order, the summer heat finally let up, and there’s enough free time to get back to work, we return to the first rack conversion, already in progress.
Now it’s time to distinguish between the two racks, and to take advantage of the massive hollow space in the top of the fake house. it took a while because of the variability of the thickness of the plastic (a major problem with vacuum-formed items such as this, from what I understand), but first the “windows” came out, and then a good paint base coat (I swear by Rust-Oleum Ultimate aged metals for projects like this, partly because of the paint’s superior adhesion and partly because of the wild colors: I’m still hoarding a final can of “Carbon Mist” if in case I ever construct another carnivorous plant enclosure) both to prime the surface and to reveal surface details that might need to be removed.
And here we go: one of those surface errors, namely flashing from the mold. Were this made of resin or polystyrene, a few minutes of sanding (and ALWAYS wear a filter mask when sanding either of these, because you don’t want lungs full of plastic dust) would clean this up. With this plastic, though, the best option is to cut off the flashing with a razor knife and then repaint. Be prepared to find additional flashing in some of the weirdest places.
In addition, some of this has to be ready for Stage 3, so a nice drill hole goes right in the center of the “roof,” smack dab between the two windows. You’ll find out why next installment.
Now it’s time to channel my inner Jack Kirby. After the gallery shut down, I had a tremendous stockpile of various plastic Christmas globes, Halloween “eyeballs,” and Beer Pong glow-in-the-dark pingpong balls, and this project needed all of them. First, to make sure they’re all consistently colored, it’s time to hit them all with two coats of “Hammered Black” after sanding them smooth. The surface doesn’t have to be perfectly smooth: in fact, I went with a coarse sandpaper to give sufficient “tooth” to minimize later chipping or peeling. This was by far the longest aspect of the whole project, so it’s best done with a good selection of tunes to relieve the sanding monotony. Some of the globes had a glitter finish, so those were just painted to add a granular effect.
To make a respectful Kirby Crackle, you have to go for structure and disassociation at the same time. This required building an underskeleton to support the weight of the rest of the Crackle, preferably one not so heavy that it risks knocking over or damaging the rack itself. Bamboo skewers intended for heavy grilling offered both the necessary flexibility and strength (much larger, and fiberglass rods may be necessary), and the globes were drilled through to slide them down the skewers. Mix up sizes and textures, and we’re getting going.
To give the impression of the Kirby Crackle flowing out of the house, one end of each skewer was secured in holes drilled in the top and side of the house, and then all three were gathered at the other end and held together with florist’s wire and epoxy putty. This was just the start of the work, because now all of the other painted globes had to be applied to conceal the skewers and add body to the whole structure. Many acted as anchors between globes on skewers to add additional strength, but others went on just as the spirit moved me. The idea was to impart motion, flow, and a strange order under the chaos.
Since the Kirby Crackle was to pass through the house, it made sense to continue it at the bottom left of the rack. Again, bamboo for strength and flexibility, but a little more cohesion partly to give the impression of anchoring and mostly to keep the assemblage from falling out of the bottom of the rack.
To finish up this stage, one last blast of paint, but to hold sprinkles of Glow Worm blue luminous powder into the still-wet paint. The plan is that in a location that gets lot of light in the day or lots of black light at night, this adds an extra level to get people to come up to the rack, even if it’s to ask “What the hell is that?“
Want more? Just wait for STAGE THREE, as well as a thumbnail on the other rack. Oh, and there’s a third rack on the way: now to find places to put them…
SIGNAL ENDS
St. Remedius News
For those who got this far and actually read the newsletter rather than clicking and deleting, there’s a lot at the main Annals of St. Remedius site. The plan is to finish 200 installments, including Mandatory Parker and Personal Interlude installments, by New Year’s Eve 2025, and try to keep up at least three per week through 2026. This is in addition to two new book proposals: the way things are going with the publishing industry, they might get released in installments over at the site as well. As always, to get those regular installments in your email box, please feel free to subscribe, as everything is moving over there by January 1.
Cooking References
Any Michael Hultquist spicy food cookbook is one that needs to go in the culinary library, and his upcoming Flavor Madness is no exception. Next week, we finally get the temperature break in Dallas we were supposed to get at the beginning of the month, and now that the kitchen is in order, it’s time to saturate all that new paint and grout with only the best kind of fire.
Other Reading
More newsletters you should be reading:
Finding Dee Fish: ever run into someone whose daily experiences parallel yours so much that you wonder if the two of you are an expression of Bell’s Theorem? That’s Dee. At a time where so many Webcartoonists from the Aughts have either faded or confirmed everyone’s suspicions that they were hot garbage, Dee is a wonderful change of pace, and the parallels between her wife Heidi and my own Sarah are a bit disturbing, too.
Skookworks: I’ve hyped David Lee Ingersoll before, and I’ll hype him again. Back in the 1980s, several science fiction publishers put out trade paperback novels with additional illustrations by various artists, and several novels through Bluejay Books were my introduction to the very influential works of Matt Howarth. If interest in St. Remdius justifies a full novel, not only would I want to resurrect the Bluejay Books look, but I’m not going anywhere without hiring David to do the interior illustrations.
The Death Star Human Resources Department Newsletter: those who knew me back in the 1990s might question my sanity for endorsing a Star Wars newsletter. I was a real asshole back in the 1990s, and besides, Jeff K has a great sense of humor about his fan interests that make this newsletter a blast to read. He also lives in Dallas, very close to the Texas Theatre, so he’s a great moviegoing buddy, especially when the Texas has its Akira Kurosawa retrospectives. He regularly jokes about Darth Jar Jar, I regularly joke about Kylo Boomhauer: it’s a wonderfully relaxed friendship.
Finally, I have to mention The Flytrap because of the involvement of longtime friend and longtime idol Andrea Grimes: I question her sanity about living in Austin, but other than that, I want to be the writer she is when I grow up. The Flytrap gives the same vibe as a lot of much-missed literary and commentary small-press magazines from the 1990s, and I’m always here for that energy.
And now a Shameless Plug for an old and dear friend: Stephen Dedman is even busier these days than I am, has been busy with Shadowrun novels, including a new one set in Texas that has a tuckerization of a certain recently defunct carnivorous plant gallery. Stephen, I’m going to return the favor one of these days. I SWEAR it.
Events
As before, everything moved over to Campus and Off-Campus Activities, and now that we’re amenable to going outside without slow-charring, it’s time to get busy. There are a lot of movies to see and things to do, and not enough people who want to put down the phone to do it, so let’s get cracking. Next week, for instance, Alamo Drafthouse joins in on celebrating the 40th anniversary of the release of one of my favorite movies, and it may be time to get a St. Remedius gathering out to a local show.
Final Words
Now that the house is in order, the heat is over, and winter approaches, get ready for a lot more projects like this. I am in a MOOD.
Want to get caught up on the St. Remedius story so far? Check out the main archive. Want more hints as to the history of St. Remedius Medical College? Check out Backstories and Fragments. Want to forget all of that and look at cat pictures from a beast who dreams of his own OnlyFans for his birthday? Check out Mandatory Parker. And feel free to visit the St. Remedius Medical College Redbubble shop for all of your Mandatory Parker needs.
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