St. Remedius Medical College: Dramatis Personae – 6

Background on Major St. Remedius Personnel and Related Individuals At the Time of Its Disappearance

(Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?)

At one time, St. Remedius Medical College had extensive files on staff members and administrators going back nearly 500 years. After the school’s disappearance, only fragments survived the catastrophe, with what little we know about the people that made St. Remedius unique coming from other, equally fragmentary, sources. Some remain absolute mysteries to this day, but some, a rare few, either continued with wild exploits or had other reasons to remain in the public record, or sometimes in the geologic record. Please note that the following biographies are by necessity biased, incomplete, and categorized somewhere between “apocryphal” and “complete and utter bullshit.”

Dr. Cuauhtémoc Alvarado

Until 1992, St. Remedius had no veterinary school, instead referring those wanting a veterinary medicine degree to the equally acclaimed Lord Darren Penward Veterinary College in the United Kingdom. This changed mostly due to the efforts of Cuauhtémoc Alvarado, a transfer from the Pablo Cortez Art Academy. Originally going to St. Remedius for Art History, Alvarado became fascinated with several collections of 17th Century art on the fae and cryptids of the Americas, including that of the enigmatic su, and he quickly noted that contrary to most cryptology experts, the su had no direct connection to Pleistocene ground sloths. A fascination with the art led to studies of the physical and psychic organizations of the cryptids themselves, and then to an absolute obsession with being able to keep them alive, healthy, and reasonably happy in captivity or other controlled conditions, with his consultancy for zoos and wildlife parks and enclaves making him a minor celebrity, particularly involving the Texas cryptid known as “Carlie.”

At the time of S. Remedius’s disappearance, Dr. Alvarado had a joint career high acclaim, both as an expert on exonormal biology and as a vividly talented oil and acrylic painter. His first collections of cryptid prints are now wildly collectible, with fans still exclaiming at his skill with brush and airbrush, and 3D prints of many of his subjects still fill the shelves of veterinary students who hope to be just like him. Video of his field adventures number in the millions of views, and of the three books on exonormal medicine written by him in his career, most are owned by natural history art enthusiasts enthralled with his illustrations and cartoons as with the subject matter.

Dr. Alvarado had additional connections to St. Remedius, unbeknownst to him. In particular, the famed Alianza Aztlan never would have formed in 3111 were it not for two particular descendants, and the Alianza’s Eagle Warriors, recipients of some of the greatest bioweapons of the age, regularly patrol the timestream for any possible interference or outward influence. As dedicated to preserving and protecting his intact timeline as they are, the Eagle Warriors occasionally succumb to a bit of surreptitious hero worship and pop in at unobtrusive moments, once composing an entire operating theatre’s audience upon his first surgery to remove impacted teeth from a mature bunyip.

Edgar Harris

Edgar Harris was a man of multiple rebirths. First famed for his underground filmmaking, he watched firsthand as a potential career in Hollywood crashed and burned. Harris then moved to magazine journalism, rising to the position of Sports Editor for Science Fiction Age magazine just before the print magazine crash in the 2000s. Picking himself up and dusting himself off, he pivoted back toward audiovisual work, turning to documentaries and video diaries both for online viewing and for theatrical release. Several of his documentaries, particularly one on the Cretaceous Conglomerate, caught the interest of St. Remedius staff, and he soon became the main videographer for St. Remedius events, experiments, and catastrophic mishaps, sharing beauty marks and warts alike. Not surprisingly, his videos on the catastrophic mishaps were attributed to massive increases in freshman enrollment.

Missy Carmody

Every college and university conducting significant research lives and dies by its press team and their actions promoting the college’s work to representatives of potentially influential popular media. This usually is done with great care and consideration for all parties involved, with the place name “El Perú-Waka’” still leading to shudders of abject terror among university press liaisons to this day. Not only was Missy Carmody a top-notch press release writer and editor, but she oversaw a team that absolutely feared the slow, sad shake of her head if anyone was foolish or distracted enough to submit a release that hadn’t been thoroughly vetted by the research team, all joint researchers with other facilities, and any and all individuals and groups that facilitated the research in the first place. In addition, Carmody had a possibly preternatural eye for uses of unauthorized and unacceptable influence in copy from her team, including subliminals, Kuper palindromes, misspells, and nanomemes, and anyone trying to pass substandard or deceptive work through her department, in either direction, soon got an earful. Her sharp and vitriolic “conversations” with Edgar Harris became legendary whenever he submitted a new video for release, and it was only after the disappearance of St. Remedius that anyone else discovered that their screaming arguments were actually coded discussions based on Harkun battle language on completely unrelated subjects, solely to confound passersby and potential spies.

To be continued…

Want to get caught up on the St. Remedius story so far? Check out the main archive. Want more hints as to the history of St. Remedius Medical College? Check out Backstories and Fragments. Want to forget all of that and look at cat pictures from a beast who dreams of his own OnlyFans for his birthday? Check out Mandatory Parker. Questions, concerns, and disgust over generative AI? Check out Contact, Privacy Policy, and AI Policy. And feel free to visit the St. Remedius Medical College Redbubble shop for all of your Mandatory Parker needs.

Cuauhtémoc Alvarado Edgar Harris Harkun Missy Carmody St. Remedius