When Avian Dinosaurs Choose To Talk Back
(Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?)
Some birds had hidden messages thrust upon their calls, while others brought the message on their own. In the case of the state bird of Texas, the messages had larger implications on avian intelligence. The northern mockingbird, Mimus polyglottos, was renowned for centuries for both its incredible fidelity in reproducing calls of other birds and other noises (including, much to human annoyance, car alarms, especially the morning after large parties) and its absolute fearlessness. More than one ornithologist noted that humans should be glad they were far too big to become prey, as well as glad for mockingbird stubbornness in not forming hunting flocks, and this fear was confirmed with discovery of a large quantum pocket isolated since the Pleistocene with three-meter-high flightless mockingbirds as the top predators in the pocket’s ecosystem. Long respected by the indigenous humans of North America as symbols of intelligence and communication, including introducing languages to humans, as well as for their medical skills, the subject of formal study of mockingbird intelligence and culture evaded both scientific and thaumaturgic analysis (for instance, mockingbirds actively avoided becoming mage familiars for almost the same exact reasons cats became familiars themselves), mostly because the mockingbirds actively enjoyed disrupting those studies.
This explains the surprise in 2015 from dozens of technical professionals of varied disciplines, all in North America with the exception of several vacationing in Hawaii, reporting mockingbirds coming up to them, leaning back, and perfectly mimicking the opening vocals from the Mandatory Parker album Fear of a Cat Planet. And then returning. And returning some more. Upon verifying that this was not some record label publicity stunt, a few of those visited managed to get audio and video, in particular noting that the mockingbirds seemed to recognize the people being sung at and focused specifically on them and not anyone in the vicinity. The video showed one major surprise: each of the mockingbirds, male and female, had a large distinctive blotch on its breast only visible under ultraviolet light. The audio had one greater one: the notes sung were a cipher, translating into a formula for dark matter and energy detection previously unknown to any other species, past or present. This wasn’t the first time dinosaurs communicated with modern-day humans, but this was definitely the second time by avian dinosaurs.
Through the next two years, the mockingbirds returned, joined by beautiful sunbirds in Africa, beaming insistent calls at other humans that contained other secrets. Quantum pocket stimulation and expansion. Equations to slow the inevitable collapse of the universe into entropy. Suggestions of other punctuation marks comparable in power to the literdew. The source of these message was and still is unknown, but some video corroborates theories that the calls are forwarded from other birds of the same species, although the plans for a manufacturing method to impart Stradivarius-level acoustics to woven aluminum appear to have been passed to one mockingbird to another via a harpy eagle at the Fort Worth Zoo.
This expansion of avian communication with humans and other sentient species, including multiple varieties of fae, had further implications. While engaging in paranthropological research with the Seid Owlriders, one St. Remedius Medical College team witnessed a throatsong about the first Owlrider and her history and noticed an out-of-place subharmonic that, when transcribed, was a binary notation cipher for an equation for cost-effective nuclear fusion. When asked about the original throatsong, the Owlrider queen stated that this song came from their greatest archivist, an ancient and wise crow named Malort, who brought “the secret of the sun” to the fae and was punished by the Outer Gods by being chained to a rock and his liver eaten by a giant bullfrog. Other similar tales turned up, including the Denisovian tale of the secret to platinum smelting coming from “the woodpecker Drzewiasty, the wisest of the birds,” Seeing as how the woodpecker was seen as a prankster as well as a teacher, and that bulk platinum manufacturing nearly destroyed the whole of Denisovian civilization, the subject of avian scientific communication was a desperately studied issue in the days before St. Remedius’s disappearance, and may have been a contributing factor.
Want to get caught up on the St. Remedius story so far? Check out the main archive. Want more hints as to the history of St. Remedius Medical College? Check out Backstories and Fragments. Want to forget all of that and look at cat pictures from a beast who dreams of his own OnlyFans for his birthday? Check out Mandatory Parker. Questions, concerns, and disgust over generative AI? Check out Contact, Privacy Policy, and AI Policy. And feel free to visit the St. Remedius Medical College Redbubble shop for all of your Mandatory Parker needs.
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