St. Remedius Medical College: “Lighting The Never-Ending Darkness”

Ruminations on the Hero Lanterns and Their Origins

(Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?)

Some of the universe’s greatest treasures were meant to be discovered, and of those, the greatest were the artifacts known as Hero Lanterns. Their original purpose and makers remain unknown, even to the greatest scryers and prognosticators of the Anthropocene, and debate continues up and down the timestream as to the intention behind their creation. Whatever the focus, however, the Hero Lanterns are cherished and protected wherever they turn up in the universe, due to their specific purpose. Some Hero Lanterns were instrumental in ending empires, starting revolutions, and either making or cleaning up messes all through the continuum, while others only seemed to build a body count.

At the latest census, based on recently released St. Remedius Medical College archive files, 49 Hero Lanterns exist at any time, and Hero Lanterns destroyed by accident or deliberation are replaced by a new one in a random coordinate of space-time. They get their name from their sole use. Any being in extreme peril or stress can press upon the glowing orange stone in the center of a Hero Lantern and summon seven heroes to redress the peril. These heroes may be connected by career (for instance, spatial engineers to repair a failing Dyson swarm, or veterinarians to address a plague wiping out a sole remaining domesticated animal species), by their connections to a specific world or event, or even by their connections to a specific individual or concept. That individual may be the one activating the Lantern, the first person selected during an activation, or even a common calendar date. Once the Lantern assesses the situation and chooses its heroes, all materialize around the Lantern, receive a short but concise breakdown of their situation, and the Lantern facilitates their continued presence, whether it be a specialized atmosphere, hypoallergenic food, or toolkits and accessories. Once caparisoned, the heroes stay there to resolve the conflict, only to leave upon their deaths (the Lanterns will return bodies or residues thereof to their original time and place) or upon successful completion of their quest. Once either all seven cease function or emerge victorious, all are returned to their original locales, seconds after leaving, and the Lantern evaporates, only to reappear in another spot in space-time. No matter what happens, no Hero Lantern remains in a single location for more than approximately six months Gregorian Calendar before fading and transporting elsewhere, so as to prevent hoarding or misappropriation. Likewise, any attempt to dismantle or disassemble a Hero Lantern also causes it to teleport away, usually with enough of a release of energy that the tinkerer has no corporeal elements left for a funeral.

Because of their work and their specialized knowledge, staffers and students of St. Remedius were significantly more likely than average humans to be summoned by a Hero Lantern, to the point where the term “Lantern sabattical” was a catchphrase to explain professors with six months’ new hair growth, students’ new scars and prosthetic limbs, and custodians‘ surprising new physical or mental abilities. Some were summoned and resummoned for different Lantern assignments so often that they aged years within a month, much to their exasperation. Others ended up beyond caring, just closing their eyes when the the Lantern vortex appeared before them, embracing loved ones and powering down projects, and grumbling “Well, back to the linen mines” before the space where they once existed filled with air. And a few…a very few returned after years or sometimes decades of subjective time, often too shellshocked to talk about their experiences but also often not wanting to discuss those experiences’ inherent ridiculousness.

(Hints from the first St. Remedius novel, coming soon.)

Want to get caught up on the St. Remedius story so far? Check out the main archive. Want more hints as to the history of St. Remedius Medical College? Check out Backstories and Fragments. Want to forget all of that and look at cat pictures from a beast who dreams of his own OnlyFans for his birthday? Check out Mandatory Parker. Questions, concerns, and disgust over generative AI? Check out Contact, Privacy Policy, and AI Policy. And feel free to visit the St. Remedius Medical College Redbubble shop for all of your Mandatory Parker needs.

Hero Lantern St. Remedius