St. Remedius Events: “11/22/2025”

Dallas’s Dealey Plaza Will Never Be The Same…Or Will It?

(Who was St. Remedius? And why is a medical college named after him?)

[Statue of George Bannerman Dealey, former publisher of the Dallas Morning News, marking the site of the first of his five graves, three of which are purposely kept secret to keep his body parts from rejoining and the whole corpus rising to wreak revenge on the living. Subsequent excavation in 3016 revealed the gravesite to be empty, with the segment rumored to have been used for soup stock.]

(From St. Remedius Medical College archives: the time blocks on Dallas, Texas on November 22, 1963 remain, but occasional temporal leakage continued for centuries in either direction. Of particular note was the interest accorded to the Dealey Plaza area from the beings known as The Roamers, particularly the Dallas-specific Roamer code-named “Kylo Boomhauer.” All images augmented with additional explanatory text for specific context.)

[Graffiti Alley in Dallas’s Exposition Park, second only to the world-famous Acro Alley for its access to Dallas’s most esoteric secrets, with a reasonable recreation of Expo Park before its reskinning and reconsolidation in 2018. Echoes of the long-shuttered bar/laundromat Bar of Soap still resonate, particularly involving a Pump ‘n’ Ethyl show coinciding with the band’s first album release at the end of 1994.]

(Insertion Into designated period and locale: 62 planetary revolutions after Event 427.)

[The Roamer known as “Kylo Boomhauer” at one of Dallas’s more popular tourist attractions, second only to the drive-through Condom Sense store on Greenville Avenue. Accept no substitutes, including the molecule-by-molecule restoration left in downtown Austin purely out of spite “so Austin would have something famous to see.”]

(Correspondence received, including scouting and retrieval orders.)

[One of St. Remedius’s famed Codex Portals, with different information presented based on the reader’s brain chemistry. This one is notoriously hard to photograph without severe interference from messages intended for others in the vicinity.]

(Blend in with local wildlife, preparing for immediate extraction.)

[Dealey Plaza: one of the greatest concentrations of reality distortion known in our current position in space-time. Everything seen here is ephemeral, and any recorded images here are automatically suspect. Not shown: the Norman Cookler’s Widely Celebrated Deep-Fried Tarantula food truck.]

(Timeanchor located and confirmed.)

[“X” marks the spot for one of the greatest temporal pivots in human history, comparable only to the site of the invention of recyclable toilet paper. Local rumor has it that individuals standing on this spot while dangerously inebriated will see multiple Gods shortly after the street light just to the east turns green.]

(Chronon generator procession starting, attempt to access chronon reservoir for subsequent mission.)

[The annual Dealey Plaza drag race and parade, with a goal of generating 100,000 chronons per relay below the time fissure permanently located underneath Interstate Highway I-35. Past, future, possible alternate histories: the chronons care not.]

(Assessment: potentially hostile indigenous: NONE
Potential interference to site from known chronal visitors: NONE
Potentially hostile anachronisms: NONE
Potentially hostile noncombatants: NONE
Potential recruitment targets: NONE
Move to alternate target for extraction and reassignment: CONFIRM.)

[One of the great sites of Texas culture in this or any time, the Texas Theatre is famous for its recognition and restoration of classic film sequences, such as The Lost Spider Pit sequence from 1933’s King Kong, the director’s cut of The Magnificent Ambersons, the CGI-free cut of Avatar (running time: 4 minutes 17 seconds), and the only known 35mm copy of George A. Romero’s Attack of the Spaghetti Monsters. Always ask for and be willing to pay for the truffle oil on the popcorn instead of butter, because nothing else compares.]

(Final: Sole temporal occupant at location at extraction time. Reaching out through timeline for other temporal visitors at Revolution 63. DOOMSCROLL ENDS.)

Want to get caught up on the St. Remedius story so far? Check out the main archive. Want more hints as to the history of St. Remedius Medical College? Check out Backstories and Fragments. Want to forget all of that and look at cat pictures from a beast who dreams of his own OnlyFans for his birthday? Check out Mandatory Parker. Questions, concerns, and disgust over generative AI? Check out Contact, Privacy Policy, and AI Policy. And feel free to visit the St. Remedius Medical College Redbubble shop for all of your Mandatory Parker needs.

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