More Free Weirdness By Mail From St. Remedius
(Remember how, in the days of standard episodic television before streaming and binging, many dramas and some comedies would give a thumbnail update starting with “Previously on…”, flashing scenes so fast that people starting midway through a season or story were more confused than before? Well, that’s what this newsletter is like. Look at these as regular updates of how the sausage is made, with what, and whether or not the staff washed their hands after they used the toilet. Or, worse, if they only washed their hands before using the toilet.)
BEGIN TRANSMISSION
Okay, here’s a proposal. We’ll start at the beginning and hope it all makes sense.
So far, the 2020s have been less of a decade and more an experiment in metaphorical kidney stones, with the last two years being especially rough. Losing several dear and important friends, a major move and consolidation, a massive emergency house repair, health issues, a job market that makes becoming a white-collar toecutter more and more alluring by the second…why, if it wasn’t for the gigantic royalties from St. Remedius movies, television shows, and action figures, things would be even worse…
Hold on. I’m being informed…
Oh. And when the hell did THAT happen?
Look, you tell that damn agent that this had best get resolved, or I’m tying him to a tree and getting a rubber hose…what was that? Oh.
OH.
I have received clarification of the situation. You know that phrase “Don’t write checks your talent can’t cash”? Well, nobody told ME about it. I guess I’m back to selling body parts, and not once did I say they were MY body parts.
Anyway, back to the subject. One of the many effects of the move and consolidation was spending the end of last year and the beginning of this year collating and sorting and pitching. Last December was the big Kylo Boomhauer’s Ultimate Exonormal Gift Overload event to clear out and pass on goodies from the old carnivorous plant gallery, which gave room and time to go through old papers, photos, and other ephemera. It was long, thorough, and painful, especially finding regular reminders of those dead friends, but January ended with my library sorted into Library of Congress classifications, random but important photos collected alongside the papers that need to be saved for the future, and a ridiculous number of 1980s paycheck stubs, band flyers, weekly newspaper ads, zine promos, and other bits of flaking and peeling cultural epidermis that either went into proper storage or straight into the recycling bin.
Among other things, this was the opportunity to consolidate decades of weird postcards, bumper stickers, letterhead, and stationery into one box for eventual disposition. Official US Post Office cards and envelopes of the James Gurney-painted dinosaur stamp series from 1997 were a big one, as well as a set of letterhead given to me by my maternal grandmother shortly before she died in 2002. Various postcard books gathered and occasionally used since 1984. (You think Harlan Ellison’s untold story of how he ended up with Donny Osmond Fan Club letterhead is one of the great mysteries of the universe? I’m still trying to figure out how I ended up with a Star Trek III postcard book.) The biggest haul, though, were postcards, purchased at places I’d visited or lived in, sent by friends either deceased or disappeared, and sometimes gathered because of plans that fell through. Museum postcards, postcards from state and national parks (US and Canadian), postcards bought solely for the art and postcards promoting long-ago art showings, lots and lots and LOTS of paleontology and natural history-related postcards, and piles of cards promoting long-dead businesses and projects intended to be passed on to others three decades ago or more. Some were so fresh that I remembered the exact circumstances under which I purchased them, and others still make me ask “And exactly why the hell did I hang onto these? I know I wasn’t drunk.” As of a count a few hours ago, 391 postcards in a cardboard box. I didn’t know exactly what I’d do with them, but I’d been to so many estate sales during the Texas Triffid Ranch years and seen so many boxes piled up with unknown and unknowable postcards that had been hoarded for a rainy day that I knew these eventually had to get out to the world in general. When, though, was the question.
To be completely honest and generous with credit to friends and cohorts, Charlsie Niemiec was the catalyst. Charlsie is a wonderful LinkedIn connection with a sharper wit and more thorough memory than I’ll ever have, and was discussing on LinkedIn how much she loved and adored getting postcards. That led to discussions on artist friends whose postcards still adorn my refrigerator years and decades after the art exhibitions the postcards promoted (the Cubelight GFX postcards from Scott Elyard and Raven Amos are only leaving my possession after the sun goes red giant and vaporizes our planet), and I thought about that box of postcards. “Whatever happens, you get first dibs on the weirdest postcard I’ve got,” I promised Charlsie, and I intend to keep that promise. Everyone else, though, gets surprises, too.
So here’s the new project, dedicated to those who still love dead physical media, who want a more solid connection than an email or a text, and who didn’t know how much they missed getting things in their mailbox. The rules:
Number One: Absolutely no purchase necessary. The Postcard Liberation Front will continue until all cards are sent, but quantities are limited.
Number Two: To receive a postcard, I need a mailing address. This can be sent via email or via the St. Remedius Contact Form. Note that the mailing address doesn’t have to be YOUR mailing address: I have no problems sending it to someone or somewhere else.
Number Three: Each entry can include up to five mailing addresses. The idea is to share the wealth, so if you want to surprise friends and family, this is the way to do it.
Number Four: Postcards will be selected at random. The photos in this installment only give a hint as to the variety of postcards, and I can’t promise that a specific card you may want is still available.
Number Five: Postcards will be personally notated: if you want something particular written on it, include it with your mailing address.
Number Six: This giveaway is open to anyone currently on Earth, in orbit, or passing by this happy little corner of the galaxy. If you know anybody currently assigned to duty in Antarctica, now’s the time to surprise them.
Number Seven: If you want to send off postcards of your own in return, here’s the mailing address.
Number Eight: Your mailing address and any other personal information will only be used for the purposes of sending a postcard, and in no circumstances will be given, disseminated, or sold to others. If you wish to receive future mailings (I may find another big box of postcards), please state so. Otherwise, you will not be bothered again.
Number Nine: You are welcome to pass on information on the Postcard Liberation Front to any and all who might be interested in participating.
Number Ten: Receiving a postcard is not contingent upon subscribing to the St. Remedius site, but subscriptions both free and paid are greatly appreciated.
Number Eleven: So what are you waiting for?
END TRANSMISSION
St. Remedius News
For those who receiving this via newsletter and not regularly visiting the site, things keep going. Besides lots and lots of snide commentary, the site now includes printable St. Remedius flyers, including the latest on the Texas bluebonnet boa, and lots more of the Mandatory Parker saga. In addition, for those who occasionally visit St. Remedius Radio, the installments there have been going on long enough to justify a YouTube playlist. Engage with it all at your peril: the next set of flyers is going to be a tribute to several absent gamer friends, as well as an opportunity to mess with a few more fannish conventions.
Besides all of the usual, the efforts to get word about about St. Remedius continue. This includes my finally getting on Reddit and setting up a St. Remedius community, setting up a regular movie watching party on Twitch, and plotting and scheming about new gathering events. We’re right at that transition where Dallas is warm enough that we don’t need coats in the morning but not so hot that we turn to plasma at noon, and it would be a right shame to waste the opportunities.
Other Reading
If you haven’t taken a look in a while, the Bookshop.org storefront for St. Remedius is freshly reloaded with new reading options. In addition, the site’s Research page contains links to this and publishers and booksellers in need of inclusion: I don’t get a thing by recommending the publishers and booksellers, other than relief that they’re doing what they’re doing. Either way, feel free to browse, peruse, and purchase, and know that every purchase makes Andy Jassy at Amazon cry.
Events
The Campus and Off-Campus Activities section continues to fill with possibilities, including the Silent Read event at the Half Price Books flagship store in Dallas on May 20, celebrating 20 years of Texas Frightmare Weekend on May 22 through 24, and the Zest Fest spicy foods festival in Fort Worth on May 29 through 31. In addition, for those who can’t get to Dallas for reasons, the new St. Remedius Watch Party channel is live on Twitch every Saturday at 2 pm Central Time. (Because of various issues with rights on different platforms, the Watch Party runs on Twitch while we all watch the movie in question, this time the famed New Zealand horror film Black Sheep, on your format of choice, whether streaming or physical media. All are welcome, and you have the option of simply watching the film, joining in the chat area, or listening to my vapid commentary. Either way, bring your choice of snacks.)
Final Words
The Postcard Liberation Front is just the start of summer activities: you really have no idea how stir-crazy one can get in Dallas during the summer. Last year’s plans were sidetracked by a sudden emergency kitchen repair and the plans for the year before scuttled by appendicitis recovery, but 2026? Does the phrase “curbstomp 2026 into a gooey paste” have sufficient oomph?
Want to get caught up on the St. Remedius story so far? Check out the main archive. Want more hints as to the history of St. Remedius Medical College? Check out Backstories and Fragments. Want to forget all of that and look at cat pictures from a beast who dreams of his own OnlyFans for his birthday? Check out Mandatory Parker. And feel free to visit the St. Remedius Medical College Redbubble shop for all of your Mandatory Parker needs.
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